Texting has become one of the most relied upon means of communication in today’s world. The right texting game can either make or break your progress with women. Unfortunately, most guys don’t do the right things with their texting. But with a little education and proper understanding of female psychology, you can learn how to push all the right buttons with your texts and turn that special girl into your girlfriend.
So let’s lay the foundation for texting, and how we can use it to generate some great attraction from the women we’re trying to seduce. What most guys neglect to understand is that texting is actually better than speaking in person or on the phone for generating attraction. As a medium for communicating your stellar wit, mix signals, push pull, disqualifiers, rewarding and punishing behavior, texting is probably the best mode of communication out there.
Let’s begin with WIT. What’s great about texting is that it makes for some great comedy. You can think about your responses for as long as you want, and rifle off some hilarious banter that’s sure to build attraction. You can (and should) know where you want the texting conversation to go. And like a chess player, predict her responses and be 5 steps ahead. Needless to say, this is much easier to do over texting than in real time.
There are certain texts you can send to get a girl to chase you, all the while taking her on an emotional roller coaster (in a good way). For example, you could say something like: “There are so many good things about you and just a few bad… ” Then she’ll respond with: “what’s the bad?” Then you can say: “Why do you only want to hear the bad? Besides, you don’t want to know.” She’ll keep pressing you for the bad, and you can string her along with texts like: “OK, I’m going to tell you. Hold on… You know what, nevermind.” Once you can sense that she can’t take it anymore (right at the point where she’s about to get angry) you can come in with a text that says something like: “The bad thing is this- Too bad you’re not here right now because I miss your adorable laugh.”
Texting is also great for sarcasm and teasing: I was texting with a girl once when she told me that “she designs sets”, with the fact that she works in Hollywood having been communicated in an earlier conversation between us. So my response was: “Oh, you design those house sets they have at WalMart?”
Along the same lines of teasing, a lot of girls talk about how their models to which you could say something like: “My dad was shot by a disgruntled runway model so I don’t really get along with your kind.”
Unfortunately, the wit women throw back is pretty meager compared to some of the things you guys will be texting, but that’s just part of the program. On the bright side, their lack of wit makes us look all the funnier. Girls will often text back: “ha ha ha,” when you write something really funny. And as a general rule of thumb, each “ha” is worth 10 points of attraction. That’s a fact by the way. One “Ha” equals ten points. Get a thousand points, and you’ll get laid.
Now, let’s talk about a concept called push/pull. When you’re bantering with a girl over text, and showing your championhood and sleek wit, right when you can tell she’s getting all fired up and desiring more entertainment JUST STOP. Don’t respond, especially if she’s not matching your high level of entertainment. Many girls will even write: “Entertain me some more!” And that’s when you drop the hammer with a: “NOPE!” Then, when a few hours go by you can re-initiate the conversation by saying something like: “Why did you stop texting me? I was having fun talking to you.” To which she’ll respond: “You told me to stop texting you.” Then, finally you can say: “Hey, why do you keep texting me? Didn’t I tell you to stop?” This is push, pull. Keeping a girl off balance like this (in a playful way) is essential for creating attraction.
This concept also dovetails into punishing bad behavior. If she acts up, don’t respond. Many people underestimate the power of no response but it’s unbelievably powerful. Many times if I’ve been going back and forth for a while with a girl and she’s not matching my wit, I’ll just stop texting back when she sends me a text that I don’t think is very funny. This will punish her meager efforts and show her that she has to work for my attention. Along the same lines, if you guys get into a fight and she sends you a mean text that’s emotional and completely out of line, you should use the power of no response. Just stop texting her. After a few days she’ll re-initiate the conversation and consequently gain more attraction for you because you stuck to your guns.
On the other hand, you should also reward GOOD behavior when applicable. For example, if she sends a text that says: “I just showered and shaved for you. I’m so soft; you and I would feel great together.” You should REWARD her good behavior with a: “Hell yeah, I like when you talk like that!” Many times when girls text me things I like, I’ll text back with a “YES!!!” in capital letters to let her know that she’s winning my approval. This will shape her behavior, and make her much more likely to talk to me in a positive way in the future.
Texting was invented by doctor mixed signals. In English, tonality is so important to meaning that sometimes you just can’t tell what the person meant via text. This is a great advantage, because you can use it to create a chase (if you don’t have the chase dynamic in your relationships with women they won’t stick around for long). For example, if she texts you with a great experience she just had, you could text back with something along the lines of: “That sounds great, I’m looking forward to hearing more about it in person.” This could be interpreted in two ways. She’ll think: “Does he not want me to bug him? Or does it sound like such a good story that he would rather hear about it in person?” This will keep her in a state of uncertainty, which is great for attraction.
Now, here are some general rules of thumb for texting: Allow the woman to set the ceiling for text length and slide in just below it. That is to say, as a general rule of thumb (which may be broken from time to time depending), keep your texts slightly shorter than hers. Also, make your texts look slightly rushed. A few non-capitalized words here, a few mis-texted letters there, a few periods that never made the cut over there. This shows you’re not too eager to impress, and you’re just riffling off texts without much thought. As a disclaimer to this, don’t look like an idiot. Educated guys are attractive to women, so keep your grammar pinned, but sometimes make your texts look rushed. What we’re saying here is: Don’t look try hard. For example, you could say something like: “what the duck are you talking about?!” D and F are on the same key, so it looks rushed, and it’s also mildly entertaining.
Lastly, DON’T follow the rule: “If she texts back in one hour, wait one hour 10 minutes.” Be unpredictable in your response times. Sometimes wait tons of time. Sometimes shoot right back. Sometimes don’t respond. Sometimes give her three funny texts in a row rapid fire. A high value guy is unpredictable. His life is full of people and situations, so who knows when he’s available to return a text? Now, with that said, in the initial conversation through text messaging you DO want to wait just over the amount of time that it took her to respond. But, once the conversation sticks, you can start being unpredictable with your response times. Here’s a fact that should be a no brainer: Being predictable is BAD.
OK, so when should we text a girl for the first time? Girls get dozens of texts every day. She’s much more likely to forget yours if you send it in the middle of the day when she’s busy with work or school. The best time to initially text is when she gets off work, or better yet, before she goes to bed. Your text will be looked over with much more consideration and it will stand a good chance against the barrage of other texts that she’s receiving from all her guy friends.
Now let’s discuss some good texting ideas to get the conversation going. First off, what makes your text stand out? Imagine getting dozens of text a day, most will start to blend together and you’ll only remember certain ones right? Well, that’s why it’s really important to send a text that’s unique and funny- Something that will stand out from the crowd.
One great way to write the initial text is with a reference to something you two spoke about in your initial conversation. For example, I once got the number of a girl who was a horse trainer and I said: “Hey, wasn’t that you I saw riding a miniature horse down main street today? (This is funny because Main street in my town is a huge street with cars zooming past, so riding a horse on it, especially a miniature one, would be absurd).
Once I got the number of a teacher and I said: “Hey, I’m sitting here with one of your students and he’s telling me you throw chairs at the kids when you get mad. Is this true?”
If you know she responds well to being teased you could say: “Hey, I saw a sea donkey and it made me think of you”
This one right here works really well, especially when you met the girl at a club: “This is your phone. Because you didn’t buy Mark (insert your own name here) a drink last night, I’ll self destruct in 1 minute. Text back for diffuse instructions.”
Another good one is: “We received your payment for your machine gun, it will be shipped out to you immediately.”
Let’s say she’s a waitress at a nice restaurant like Cheesecake Factory. You can text her and say: “I’m at the Cheesecake Factory and I can’t find the drive through, I’ve circled this place like 18 times!” (this is kind of funny because Cheesecake factory is a nice restaurant and it doesn’t have a drive-through ha ha).
My favorite one that almost always gets a positive response is: “Mark to Kelly, come in Kelly. Ksh. over.” The “ksh” is supposed to emulate the static sound of a two way radio, like her and I are on the battlefield. Girls love this one, it has like a 95% success rate when used for the very first text.
Needless to say, it’s really important to assess her personality and predict what type of text would work best with her.
Another great thing to do is to text her right after you get her number: “Hey (Nickname), I just wanted to give you my number.” Establishing a nickname early on is important. It will build a bond between the two of you (people in rapport do it), and it will eliminate any confusion about who you are. Also, if she has your number, it brings in the potential for her to text you first.
Now, let’s talk about some general texting rules of thumb to follow when talking with a hot girl over text. Once you get some good banter going with the first texting session you should drop the conversation on a high note with her being the last one to text. Then, text her again within the next day or two. That, or if you feel like you could close the hang out over texting, wait until you know she’s really enjoying your conversation then ask her to hang out.
Here’s an example of how to go for the hang out over text: You can say: “You know what, you seem fun. What’s your week looking like?” She’ll say: “I’m free Tuesday.” Then you’ll say: “Cool, well, Tuesday I was thinking about going to this cool sushi place. You should come with.” If she ho-hums your advances to hang out, say something funny, let her respond, then drop the conversation. A few days later you can re-initiate, and drop it again, then maybe go for the call and try to close her on the phone. Sometimes it takes high value girls a couple of sessions to get warmed up to you, so don’t be butt hurt if they say: “no'” to your initial advances. She may just need a little more time, that’s it. Keep going!
Once you’ve set up the hang out (and asked for her address the day of as a reminder that the two of you have plans), there may be the occasion where she’s going to try to flake. For example, it’s usually a bad sign if a girl calls you right before you’ve planned to hang out. It usually means she’s about to flake. With just a little common sense this will almost never happen, but if it does, you’ll be ready. What we’ll do is let her call go into voicemail, then in a few minutes send her a text that says: “Whats up?” This way you don’t have to respond in person, you can use the ambiguity of texting. If she does indeed flake on you for the first hang out, just text back “OK.” It seems simple enough, but women read into things. She’ll wonder if you’re upset, or don’t care, or any number of possibilities. Of course you’re not upset, because you’re a high value guy that will just call over someone else- but we want her wondering. As a disclaimer to all this, it’s not advisable to “punish” and attempt to shape her behavior too much if she flakes on you for the first hang out. It’s better to show that you are unaffected. You probably don’t have her wrapped up enough to shape behavior at this point, so wait until the second or third hang out to properly reprimand a woman who tends to flake. If she does flake on your for the first hang out, we suggest that you don’t text her or call her until she texts or calls you. If she doesn’t text or call you, you can try again in two weeks. When she does, don’t even mention how she flaked. Pretend you forgot about it. It’s no big deal because you just did something else that night. Re-initiate the conversation, get her feeling good, then when the time is right, go for the hang out. You could flake on her too, but we’ve found that two wrongs don’t make a right. It’s best just to forget about her flaking, and if it continues, you can mold her behavior once she’s sprung enough on you for you to do so. With that said, if you use these techniques girls will be chasing you so much that hanging out will be THEIR idea.
Once you establish the first hang out with the girl and everything goes great you can (and should) continue to use the techniques we went over to keep pushing her up the attraction mountain. For me, I text about seventy five percent of the time with women because I see the value in all it’s intricacies. It creates the perfect dynamic to get a girl invested enough to want to be with you exclusively.
Once she’s attracted enough, she’ll let you know that she wants to become your girlfriend. You shouldn’t bring it up, let her bring it up! If you ask a girl to be your girlfriend before she’s ready then it looks socially unintelligent and needy. And needless to say, being needy is the single worst thing you can do for attraction. If you play all your cards right, if you can show her some excellent texting game, then she’ll be begging you to be your girlfriend in no time at all. Trust me on this one, wait for her to ask.
So use these texting techniques, we think they’ll help you to get the girl you’ve always wanted.